The Life You Could Be Living vs. The Life You Settled For

“Eventually, there comes a point in every life where you can no longer ignore the enormous and expanding gap between the life you could be living and the life you’ve settled for…. Every day of your life that you’re not actively engaged in staying fit, eating well, and strengthening your body the gap grows.”

Strength for Life, by Shawn Phillips, page 10 From Selfhelpdaily.com

I really liked this quote because it makes a lot of sense to me. Even in my teens I realized there were people that I knew that weren’t living up to their potential. Amazing people. Selfless people. Brilliant people. Fun people. The best kind of people… and they weren’t being all they could be.

I wasn’t going to be one of those people. I knew it back then.

Did you settle or are you living the life?

Best of Life!

Vern
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6 thoughts on “The Life You Could Be Living vs. The Life You Settled For

  • July 29, 2008 at 2:52 am
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    Vern,

    This is a powerful quote and life-saving concept. Actively engaged in living the best life possible is the only way to be truly happy.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Reply
  • July 29, 2008 at 1:59 pm
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    So many people roll with the flow… as if they’re on a rowboat and life is just pushing them anywhere the current is taking them…but, we’ve got motors. Many motors… we can go any which way against the current or even jump up out of the boat and hit the shore for a little climbing adventure, or whatever we choose. We can dive off the boat and see what’s lurking in the depths… usually beautiful things that blow the mind, right? I thought it was a great quote to get people thinking… Thanks for your comments Flora…

    Reply
  • February 26, 2009 at 2:36 am
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    I am 21 years old. I am married. though he is not a bad guy, he isn’t the one for me. I feel constaly confused in my life whether i am settleing or giving up on myself or is this life itself. I wish i ahd a guide manual to life so maybe i wouldn’t be so confused… but yes this settling issue i go through everyday, yet when i decided to get out of the situation i doubt if that’s what i really want and then i just don’t do anything and stay confused.

    Reply
    • February 26, 2009 at 7:09 am
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      Hi Star… thanks for writing in about this. Though I don’t know your whole situation I’ll offer some ways to look at the situation. You said he’s not a bad guy. That’s a great start. Is he a good guy then? If your chosen one isn’t hitting you, mentally abusing you, cheating on you, or doing something else that hurts you or himself or that shows his blatant disrespect for you and you are good friends with him then that’s a good start. A really good start.

      You didn’t mention how long you’ve been married, but at 21 yrs I’m guessing not more than 3 yrs. There are slow periods in a relationship… perhaps you’re in a period where you just don’t know why you’re together? Do you have common interests? Common friends?

      At 21 yrs you’ve got a LOT of changing to do by the time you’re 40, 50, 60. Life is a process of change – and what you’re into and who you’re into and what you’re doing with your life will probably change a lot. Maybe already you’re entering this change arena and it doesn’t look like marriage with this guy is the right thing.

      “Settling” for someone is not a great idea – as you seem to believe also.

      I think if you’re not in a bad situation right now – use it to work on your relationship with the guy. Find some new interests you can share together. Move to a different state – closer or further from family – that changes everything. Family support, friend support can change a lot of things.

      Don’t just end your marriage because you think he isn’t the one for you – unless you have some concrete examples why he’s not the one…. You didn’t mention any of those – so – no idea there.

      If you need help read some books on relationships. See some Oprah with that guy – forget his name, but he’s got a real good grasp on relationship issues – Dr… man, I forget his name… you’ll come up with it before me. He’s a big guy with many books and he seems to be Oprah’s favorite.

      At 21 you’re way too young to be married in my own opinion – but I was there too. It didn’t work out for me. Take your time deciding to get out – and give it a few good chances to get back to the marriage you think you should have. Take a look at what marriage is – many (women especially) have this fairy tale view of marriage – so, it NEVER seems like it’s the right marriage once they are in it.

      Good Luck with your marriage… your decisions… your life!

      Reply
  • May 29, 2009 at 8:16 am
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    Marriage! I’ve been sluggling it out of 34 years. In the marriage strenches. The kids thing, the house thing, the “in business ” with my wife thing and it’s just been OK. I guess I’m just doing what’s right for everyone else, making them all happy. I really don’t want to dissapoint anyone. Can anyone relate?
    I’ve been hoping all these years that things might get better. I guess they’re just OK. And if you think
    of trying something radical you just may be worse off than you are right now. I really do think life has been passing me by for many years. In grid lock…Any thoughts?

    Reply
    • May 29, 2009 at 8:43 am
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      Hi Marketman,

      I think most of the married readers relate to what you’re saying. If you have commitments you need to honor – honor them… but, you can change still change your life. You may shock the person you’re with – but, within the framework of all the responsibility, the commitments you have to others there is still room to venture into new territory… create a new life – restructure your life so you experience new things and not just the same-same.

      I think too many of us feel like we’re stuck in something. We never are – we can ALWAYS choose something different or revise the game a little bit or totally… but, the problem is – we believe we are stuck. Break out of the stuck!

      Reply

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